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Remaining Men Together
Last night found us at a support group for bereaved parents, you know, like us. I’m not exactly sure what it’s called, but something like Failed Pregnancies, which is about as appropriate as anything,...
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Hello
Carey and I can’t quite escape it and maybe we don’t want to: writing blogs and reading blogs and being members of the blogging community has meant more to us in recent months, particularly in recent...
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From Noelle
Posting this week will be sparse, even though I have half-drawn thoughts on Father’s Day, E. Coli and other odds and ends wasting time in my WordPress Drafts folder. Our boys’ memorial is this weekend,...
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Faces
Today was our boys’ memorial, which was shared with a few dear friends and family. It’s another example of something I’d like to talk more about later, but suffice it to say it was a really tremendous...
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Memorial Video: The Bear Triplets
Below is the video produced for the June 25th, 2011 memorial service for Rudyard, Desmond and Oscar Bear, our triplet sons. Please be warned: while this video contains a handful of images from their...
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Best Possible
It’s been nearly a month since I’ve posted, but I’ve thought of my blog and those who read it often. This post isn’t so much an update as a, well, a Something. A couple of weeks after the boys were...
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Heaven for Beginners
While Carey was pregnant, I began writing an essay about my ideas on Heaven. If you know me, you won’t be surprised that it has little to do with clouds and harps and (as Schwyzen puts it) chucking...
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Birthday
Today is (well, would’ve been) (well, is) the boys’ birthday. A year ago today, we met them and lost them. I think nearly every parent of a dead child has the same epiphany about the anniversary of...
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Where The Fire Began
Last night I dreamed of a fire. I don’t remember everything about the context, but I was outdoors and it seemed to be a fire that sprang up quickly. And it’s hard to say how, but I knew it was a fire...
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“As Easy As 123?”– An Audio Documentary
Yesterday I made reference to a documentary project about having and raising triplets that contains an interview with me and, with the producer’s permission, I’m posting it below. It was produced by...
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The Daily Beast article – Stillbirth and YouTube
This morning, our story is featured in a Daily Beast article about parents of stillborn children and the growing trend to grieve publicly through the use of online media, like tribute videos and blogs....
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In The News
There’s a reasonable chance you’re here thanks to recent news articles and segments regarding the memorial video we made for our sons Rudyard, Desmond and Oscar. If that’s the case, thank you for your...
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The Land of Do-As-You-Please
“Hello. My name is 1)_____. Today I’m grieving the loss of 2)_____, who passed away on 3)_____. He/She/They was/were my 4)_____. His/Her/Their loss makes me feel 5)_____. In closing, I’d also like to...
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Fire, Glass, OH MY GOD
I had a loose mental sketch of this year’s entry. It was going to be called “#braveface” and it was going to be about a new sort of grief (new to us anyway) that we’ve only recently begun to...
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Happy Whatever Day
Happy Avoiding Facebook Day. Happy Rehearsing Your Response to ‘Happy Father’s Day’ Day. Happy Uncomfortable Pauses That End With ‘How’s Your Wife Holding Up?’ Day. Happy Getting Your Story Straight...
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An Actual Tip
It’s not inconceivable that part of the modest traffic that this blog manages to attract are new and expectant triplet parents. Maybe, like me years ago, you’re trawling the internet, looking for...
View ArticleBack to One
ME: Days off are hard to come by. I was hoping for a little more fun and relaxation when I put in to take today off for my birthday a couple of weeks ago. CAREY: I know, but Little Man is sick and...
View ArticleThe Birthday Brothers
In his kitchen, the ice snaps as he pours a substantial swallow of vodka into a glass and squeezes in an orange. Sipping, he gathers more ice from the freezer, drops it onto a washcloth on the counter,...
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The Littlest
The four year old I wrote about a couple of years ago is a six year old now. He’s still with us; we’re still fostering him. In fact, his two older sisters are, as of last summer, with us also. (Yeah,...
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Children Who Exist and Children Who Don’t
A friend and I were talking recently about fatherhood. He mentioned that, before he had children, he’d always had a feeling that there was a part of himself that would be incomplete if he missed out...
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